The Spoilers

There are no secrets in our house.  Surprising each other for Christmas just isn’t going to happen and we should just face the fact. 

It started with Pace.  His birthday was in November so we got most of his Christmas presents at the same time as his birthday presents.  The day before his birthday, he went to stay at Grammy’s house.  Ryan and I separated his birthday presents from his Christmas presents.  Birthday got wrapped, Christmas went in the drawer of the obscure and hardly ever visited guest room.  I was so proud of myself for thinking of a convenient spot that Pace would never find.  Pace came home from Grammy’s house.  I sent him into his room to find a small birthday gift which I had left for him in his room.  He came in with the gift along with a gift from the impenetrable guest room drawer!  His eyes were lit up and he was profusely thanking me for ALL HIS NEW TOYS!!!!  I asked him what he had seen; he listed everything in the drawer without so much as a pause for breath.  Santa would have to do some fancy footwork to fix this disaster!  Let the returns and exchanges begin!

Then there’s Ryan.  He found a great hiding place, which I shall not mention, and we put all the NEW toys in it.  I also threw in a few for Ryan.  I figured he would never touch the gifts again until I placed one or two in front of him with the command to “wrap”.  However, I miscalculated and a few days later Ryan announced that he had inventoried Pace’s toys and found all the Wii games.  I asked him which games he had actually seen.  Of course, at the top of the list was, MADDEN – the new football video game I had purchased for him!  Foiled again!

I was next.  While doing the banking, I became alarmed when I noticed a charge had been made from a fine art store in Utah.  I yelled out, “Ryan, someone bought something at the McNaughton studio with our credit card in Utah!”  Ryan came running as fast as he could, clicked the screen closed, and said, “Never mind, you didn’t see anything!”  Aha!  I was receiving a piece of art!  Yeah!!  BOO!  NO ONE WILL BE SURPRISED WITH ANYTHING THIS CHRISTMAS! 

Next, I asked Ryan if he had gotten any cash back from the toy returns he had made earlier in the day.  I asked the question just as he stepped into the restroom; he hadn’t heard me so I just looked in his wallet.  By the way, I haven’t looked in his wallet since our first year of marriage.  In it, to my great surprise was not only the money from the return but a crisp, new, $50 dollar bill.  He found me finding the money just as he stepped out of the bathroom.  “Hey, what are you doing?” he proclaimed.  “Where did this come from?” I demanded.  He didn’t answer right away; clearly he was weighing the importance of keeping a secret vs. my demanding tone.  He caved.  “Well, it’s your mom’s half of the Christmas present we got you, HAPPY NOW!”   Another surprise bites the dust.

But the worst (and most funny) incident happened last night at the expense of our little six-year-old.  Pace was innocently watching T.V.  I was bored and couldn’t resist the urge to tease him a little.  So I said, “Hey Pace, what did you get me for Christmas?”

“I can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”  He said, eyes still glued to the T.V.

“Is it a bicycle?”

“No.  And I can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”

“Is it a new pair of earrings?”

“No. Mom, I can’t tell you.”

“Is it something I will like?”

“Yes you will.”

“Did you get me a My Pretty Pony?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“YEAH!  You got me a My Pretty Pony – I bet it even has a comb to comb it’s pretty tail.  And is it pink?”  I clapped my hands in excitement.’

Suddenly, he whipped his head toward me, saw my excitement over the present he DIDN’T get me, and blurted out.  “Oh no Mom, but I did make you a beautiful calendar; Ms. Denise at school helped me.  It’s beautiful, I wrapped it myself.  He walked up to me, put his hand on my face and said, “I think you will love it!” 

I was horrified and hysterical at the same time.  I burst out laughing and told him it would be wonderful.  I would love it but it was supposed to be a secret.  He glared at me and said, “OK, I won’t tell you what it is.”

I could have left well enough alone but I just couldn’t let it go.  A few minutes later, I looked at Pace’s Scooby-Doo character, Thelma, and said, “Hey Thelma, I’m getting a My Pretty Pony for Christmas . . . . . . . . . from Pace!”  Pace turned and yelled out “No!  I’m giving you a calendar I made, Ms. Denise at school helped me, and you will really like it.”  Then his tone changed and he repeated verbatim the words I have said to him countless times, “Besides that, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!” 

And that was it.  I had to roll over and stick my head in the pillow because I just could not contain the gales of laughter that escaped.  My own words used against me at the exact appropriate moment.  That’s my boy!

When I could contain myself, I looked at Pace and told him that I would love whatever it was he gave me just because it came from him.  With that, he went back to his show, content in the knowledge that his secret Christmas present to me would be loved.

Ryan said, “Poor kid, you just gave him a complex.”

And with that, I realized that we are a family of spoilers.  No one is safe, not even our innocent little boy.  But we love each other tremendously and forgive and forget.

So we will celebrate Christmas for what it really is, the birth of our Savior.  This is really where the true joy lies.  But I have to admit I’ll be laughing for a long time when I think of the scolding I got from  Pace!